Monday, July 26, 2010

Patterns of Emotions

As some of you may know, I seem to have this ability to predict what you are going to say. If you didn't then there you go. It does have limitations though, it does not work well on people I don't know (I can only narrow down the possible outcomes, not accurate enough to pinpoint exact actions or words, but enough to predict the most likely ones), and predicting exact words really is a matter of luck. I realized why I can "predict" human behavior. Humans of all things in nature, are predictable, unlike your everyday horse or bee, humans are a tad bit more complicated, but still, predictable.

Detour:

There seems to be this mathematical phenomena discovered by Leonardo DaVinci (yes, that Mona Lisa guy) called the Golden Ratio which pretty much maps out everything in nature mathematically. Of course, that's not ENTIRELY the case, because if it was, the "mathematically beautiful" would look more like Angelina Jolie instead of a random hobo, in fact that's what a study discovered, Mr. Leo isn't always correct. But his idea of an overall pattern in nature is still applicable, generally, not precise-to-the-dot accurate but hey...

Back to topic, this habit of mine, of saying what you are going to say before you say it. Its second nature for me to create this formula in my head (think of it as a mathematical function all you mathematicians eg. f(x)=...) , and factor in your personality and hey presto, I have a prediction. Sounds easy, in reality it is a lot more complicated and abstract than that, but i'm used to it. Now that I have the results, all I need to decide now is whether to say it or not, which could influence the mutual relationship between you, people around us, and me. I could also give myself away, allowing you to do similar judgments on me, which naturally, I wouldn't want (or would I? see this is the Great Paradox of Artking if you will, you will always need to see both sides of the coin to see if its two faced, or two tailed, or normal, either of which is possible, and even then it would be hard for you to know my motives).

Recently, I realized that the reason why my predictions aren't 100% (or close to) accurate is because i base my data on emotions, not so much the intellectual or rational part of the brain. I realized that all along I was actually "feeling" what people feel, kinda creepy I know.

I set myself this challenge, because I find that constantly doing this thing I do doesn't really help me or you or anyone else. If anything it makes my head want to blow, WAY too much information is being processed. I'd like to be a "victim" for once, helpless to the actions of the world around me. Often it feels so lonely, being myself, as all other people do, I want to try, just for once, to "fit it", destroying my "individuality" in the process. Well of course you would wonder, would I have hypothesized what I would feel during this self set challenge? well, I leave you to answer that question, a paradox in itself. Didn't I stand for individuality? Didn't I say that people are born who they are, unique in the eye of God? Well, all I can say is, frankly I don't care anymore. I'm tired of living an entire life within a few seconds, tired of experiencing things that should be beyond my physical self.

You could say I "know" what is about to happen to myself, then why would I do it anyway? Perhaps, perhaps to know and to experience are two separate phenomena of the human mind. Its funny how you can "know" the future and live through it at the same time, something like Dr. Manhattan, maybe I know what he feels like now (I do believe that he is fictional, its just something to stimulate the Watchmen readers out there reading this blog).

you only live once,
Artking

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